During the conversation, we complain to each other out of habit
Research has found that during the average conversation, people complain to each other every minute (every minute = one complaint). There is a good reason for this. The reason for this is that people are most brought together by common feelings of dissatisfaction, frustration, helplessness and hatred. Hate may be too strong a word but most people have been in a situation where you are complained about by complete strangers (or they to us). While, say, we are waiting for a bus that is late or waiting in the clinic for a medical examination, we automatically feel connected to the companions with whom we have shared a common dissatisfaction. Apparently it is even the easiest way to build friendships and communication through negative conversation. Evolution has taught people to be ready for self-defense only when they focus on negativity.
Regretting other people is challenging because after that we feel so much better. Yet the things we enjoy as we have long since learned are not always good and necessary for us. The human brain does not like to do more than what is necessary for life. When we fix certain behaviors (e.g. regret) neurons connect to facilitate the flow of information. It is much, consequently, easier to repeat such behavior in the future — to stop being aware of how often we do it. It becomes easier to look at life more negatively than positively no matter what happens around us. Moaning becomes our default behavior. At the same time, it affects how other people perceive us. Our brain releases the stress hormone when we complain to others. Cortisol (a stress hormone) damages neutral connections in areas that are normally used to solve problems and other cognitive functions. We damage the hippocampus, that is, the part of the brain responsible for critical problem solving and intelligent thinking. Due to elevated cortisol levels, blood pressure and blood sugar rise. Frequent whining disrupts immunity. We are becoming more prone to high cholesterol, diabetes, heart disease and obesity. Our brain becomes more sensitive and susceptible to possible stroke.
Humans are social beings whose brains naturally and unconsciously mimic the mood of people in the environment, especially people with whom they spend a lot of time. Experts call this process neural mirroring. Based on that process, people remember empathy. That’s why it’s important who we spend time with because people prone to whining want the audience to feel better. This need is passed on to the listener who then finds himself in a vicious circle of self-pity and negativity. Exist
people to whom everything in life is good but always find a reason for dissatisfaction. It is simply a part of life, people can stop, think and try to change themselves and / or something in their life.
Only an individual can improve their condition and find happiness through thoughts and words / conversations. The “free month” has been popular in the United States for some time now. Everyone who has tried it says it is a very difficult task. They also realized how much time they spend on constant whining. They also discovered an incredible fact: every negative thought and situation with some effort can be turned into a positive one. It may be painful at first, but over time, each person will become more creative. People were happy after a month and less dissatisfied than before. They noticed more beautiful things around them and became aware of the moment when their thoughts would turn in a negative direction that would easily return to positivity. They didn’t suddenly become super-positive people. But if every person knows how to focus on the good, then it will be easier to overcome all the bad.
There are many tips to avoid negativity :
- Be grateful every day for everything we have. At the end of the day write down one good event that happened that day.
- Be careful not to fall into the moment when we start thinking only negatively.
- Create new rituals that help gain positivity.
- Change the way you think. It can be said that a rose would be wonderful without thorns or that it is amazing that beautiful roses grow on a bush with thorns.
- Be patient and ready for creative thinking / acting. Our brains will be grateful that they have found themselves in a new area of thinking and will begin to find solutions to everyday problems more easily.
- With the new way of thinking, there will be a need to learn how to judge everyone around you less. In return the person will be more relaxed in various situations and better towards other people. Such a person will quickly attract a lot of other positive people.
- When anything bothers you, it is not advisable to start with self-pity but with action to change the situation positively.Find an activity that makes you happy. Take time for activity. When you make yourself a happy person — you will feel better, you will be filled with positive energy, and you will not be overwhelmed with negative thoughts.
- In life, most events are a matter of balance. It’s the same with people. As much as people are positive stress will not go away but the person needs to find a way to overcome the stress. Ignoring negative thoughts can accumulate those thoughts. Then it is necessary to share all negative thoughts with close people so that the person overcomes difficult times. Many people experience dissatisfaction as a cathartic experience. The popular American sitcom “The Seinfeld” has extremely fun and interesting characters, although in 90% of every show they complain to each other. If you find a solution to the problem during the complaint, then the complaint had a purpose. If you use facts and logic during regret then you are well on your way to solving the problem. If you have anxiety problems by writing down your worries and problems on paper, you can go through the therapeutic experience and reduce your stress level. If you always complain to others deliberately and not out of habit then you don’t need to worry. Because the tendency to whine indicates a habit and not a characteristic of a person. Just try to complain as little as possible and don’t do it in front of all the people because then you get the impression that you are irresponsible, unproductive, more prone to gossip and a person of distrust.