Debates and conflict situations are a part of every person’s life. Discussions are sometimes needed for a person to develop inner strength and achieve better solutions throughout life. Discussions and conflicts are often equated by people with quarrels, conflicts of interest or the use of force. Discussions are present always and everywhere where there are interpersonal relationships. The absence of discussion often means apathy rather than harmony. Debates are largely the result of opposing different opinions, needs, or struggles to achieve dominance. Conflicts or discussions are disagreements between two or more participants about a particular problem or solution to that problem or the achievement of a goal.
- In some situations, discussions help people make quality decisions. They encourage creative solutions until they escalate into fatal conflicts. This is true when conflicts are positive and lead to constructive solutions which in turn mean strengthening the inner strength of each individual.
- In some situations, conflicts and debates do not bring any solutions. The main difference is the content or personal conflict. Content refers to content about which one person disagrees with other people or ways to achieve a goal. Personal conflict includes anger, mistrust, fear, and resentment. Content conflicts always have the ability to reach a constructive solution that suits all participants. Personal conflicts depend on the character of the individual. If the individual is realistic and willing to compromise, then personal conflict can be resolved.
- A person is a participant in a personal conflict if another person is generally annoyed, cannot trust that person, the person does not deserve your respect, your emotional reactions are exaggerated in relation to the problem, it is more important to win than to find a mutually beneficial solution. Try to turn a personal conflict into a content one as soon as possible. Avoid commands, threats, labeling and evaluation. Clear the problem from the person. Criticism is not an attack on a person. Do not argue if the participant is hungry, angry, tired, or in a bad mood. Become a more aware driver of conflict. Increase the level of tolerance and understanding.
The mode of communication needs to be made aware to resolve any conflict successfully. There are 4 ways to communicate that should be avoided:
- Criticizing conversation participants — constructive criticism is when you say clearly what is bothering you and how the interference should be corrected. Criticism, on the other hand, is focused on the identity of the interlocutor and is not at all constructive.
- Contempt — often accompanied by a complete lack of respect for other interlocutors. The interlocutor then feels unimportant, hurt, and secondary. Non-verbal communication makes up 97% of communication – meaning the expression of contempt is often shown by various gestures (nodding, rolling eyes, etc.). Such situations should be completely avoided.
- Defensive attitude – people in communication take a defensive position if they are attacked. The problem with defensiveness is that it rarely causes enlightenment or a sincere apology in the interlocutor because it leads to a vicious circle. Then the blame is shifted to the interlocutor instead of accepting responsibility for the mistake.
- Lack of communication – is more often a form of non-verbal than verbal communication. It includes a defensive attitude and contempt. Society unfortunately tolerates such situations. For example — one person speaks to another person while the other person is listening, rolling his eyes, looking into the void but not actually listening nor the words reaching that person.
It is necessary to actively listen to other interlocutors and respect all interlocutors in conversation / communication. Attitudes and opinions should be said clearly, directly and loudly. Let the criticism be positive. Openness and tolerance in communication should be a guide for all interlocutors, but also taking responsibility for words / attitudes / actions.