Proper adult reactions to child anger
Every child has their own character. Some children have a character similar to one of their parents or grandparents or even another family member at an early age. However, it is impossible to raise a child without anger and whims, so one should calmly accept children’s tears. The child often hears sentences in the style of “enough crying” in response to capricious and violent children’s reactions. Psychologists believe that these phrases create a feeling of inferiority in children and even direct children to failure. Crying a baby is a natural and even beneficial process. With a strong emotional reaction to an event – the child confides his / her own problems to the parent / guardian and expresses feelings that he / she does not manage to overcome on his / her own. By forbidding the child’s crying, the parent unconsciously shows that the child’s emotions are not important to him and the event that happened to the child is not worthy of parental attention. This can be challenged by claiming that a child in anger is actually uncooperative but any anger can be controlled and stopped in the first moments.
There are simple phrases that can be interpreted and changed according to parental intuition but achieve a greater effect than prohibitions and commands. The most important thing is for the child to feel that the child’s emotions are important to the parent and that the child always has the support and understanding of an adult. A child’s nervous system is just forming and we know that even an adult can cry over an insignificant little thing.
- Don’t punish a child — a child shouldn’t be punished regardless of parental anger. And the child should not be humiliated with some ugly words such as “crying boy/girl”, “naughty child” and the like.
- Do not distract the child – do not change the topic of conversation and distract the child. The child should know that the parent is always present and ready to understand / help.
- One should not ask a lot of questions to the child — the child in anger or hysteria should calm down and slowly be brought into normal conversation. Excessive questions towards the crying child do not make sense is the child is then unable to answer the questions.
- One should also not calm the child and say that all is well — the child will be drenched in tears will not understand these words even if the parent repeats 20 times that everything is fine. The child should be helped by solving the problem instead of trying to calm the child.
10 phrases that help when a child is in anger and hysteria
- Tell me what made you angry and let’s talk.
- You’re right, it’s very uncomfortable. I would be angry too.
- I am here and ready to help you.
- Crying and anger are normal because I get angry sometimes too.
- I understand you and I understand your condition.
- You can be alone if you don’t want to talk now. But I am always there and you can turn at any time.
- I will help you solve the problem.
- If you want you can cry.
- I am always ready to listen to your problems.
- Yes, it’s hard for you now and you’re angry now.